Feeding Ambition

I know it's been forever since I've update the blog. I meant to get to it over Christmas break, and that didn't work out. But a quarter of the way through second semester pre-medicine, and there's so much to be thankful for. Though most days it's hard to see the JOY in it all. Because ambition isn't something that you feed once and it then it grows into a huge reality overnight. It starts out as a small dream. It becomes a reality over years of hard work. It's feeding the ambitions of yourself and feeding the ambitions of others.

Broken Heal the Broken

I apologize in advance for how rambling this will sound, but it's heavy on my heart, and I want to share some thoughts and light on this subject.

Broken heal the broken.

Choosing Life, Love, and Joy

I wrote a blog post a few months ago titled, I Hope There are Days When... 

I've been thinking a lot about this concept of choosing to live life to its' fullest, choosing to love Jesus and yourself on a daily basis, and honestly, purely, and gracefully choosing joy. 

Empowered Women: The Lost Art of Feminism

I wrote this blog post a couple weeks ago, but have actually been afraid to post it. And honestly, I don't know why I was afraid. This is a huge part of everyone's life right now more than ever. And I want to share my perspective on it.

I had someone the other day call me a “self-proclaimed feminist”. And I had to contemplate that term for a second, because I didn’t realize until recently that I do indeed lean more towards being an active feminist than a neutral bystander. And while I definitely will never march for abortion, or for certain “women’s rights”, I do believe women are a powerful people who can make a huge difference in society. 

Living With Un-Diagnosed Chronic Illness

 I'm sharing a little piece of my heart today. I don't often tell people that I'm sick. But I want to share something that is a huge part of my life. I want to share something that a lot of people go through...

There's this quote by Mary Oliver that I fell in love with the moment I read it. The quote is: "Listen, are you breathing a little, and calling it a life?"

There are times where I feel great. Where I feel like I can conquer the world. Where my heart rate is a steady 68 and my I don't feel anxious. And there are times where my heart beats fast, trying to keep up with my overworking body, where it doubles its resting pace from 68 to 120, and my breathing becomes shallow and unsteady. And my head spins, and I can't think... I stop and I breathe, and I breathe, and I breathe. This little breath that I inhale and exhale. This little breath that I call my life...

I Hope There Are Days When...

I hope there are days when....
you fall in love with being alive,
you feel loved in an incredibly, deeply, beautifully inspired way,

I hope there are days when...
you see yourself for more than just human being,
but see yourself as an eternal soul,

Living Aesthetically: New Path

I took a break from anything writing. It consumed my life during high school. Novels, poetry, forums, blog posts... It was almost all I ever did besides school. I still absolutely adore writing, and someday I would love to get a novel published. But it's been almost a year since I've touched any of my novels, and only occasionally do I write poetry. The inspiration and aspirations turned into something that was hard to find. And I found some purpose -- some solace -- in knowing what I wanted to do with my life. And it is indeed somewhat disappointing that my path didn't lead me to only writing novels, but in the end, I know exactly what I want to do with my life, and I'm excited and at peace with it. I know in my heart what God wants me to do right now, and I know I want to pursue it with passion and drive.

To Be the Best You || Pursuing Passions and Dreams

I honestly have been super lazy about posting on the blog. Mainly because I don't feel like I make that much of difference. But that's negative thoughts from the devil. So I just want to stop for a moment to tell you that you are special, and to encourage you to pursue passion. 

To be the best you, you have to let go. I have a problem with not doing this. I echo negative opinions from people over and over in my mind, thinking back, regretting... I wonder what I could have done to avoid those comments. And to be honest, most of the time I come to the conclusion that I did the best that I could. God never intends for us to dwell on all the negative. What's happened has happened, and sometimes you have to just let go... 

The Power of Focus

Keeping focused is sometimes hard. Things get in the way, and we lose sight of what's most important. We trip, we fall, we feel like failures and it's hard to get back up. It's a vicious life cycle of fall down, stay down for a while and then eventually getting back up.

But what we were so focused on the things of the future and on God, that we were able to bounce back quickly?

discovering hidden talents (it's not all about writing)

Right before heading off to college, I just finished the rough third draft of my novel Imperfect Utopia for a novel contest. Every time I finish large project like a novel I purpose to take a small break. Usually it's only a few weeks and I work on smaller projects. But this time was different. I had no ideas for a new novel, and all my previous WIPs weren't appealing to me. I couldn't make myself write. After two months of this block I finally had some ideas that I got excited about. 5,000 words and a pinterest board later, I lost inspiration. Everything I did to try and write the stupid book wasn't working.

nouveau départ -- hello and goodbye

Spiratic blog posts. Zero time writing. All time dedicated to school. Ugh. It's been a while. Hello my few faithful followers. I had every intention of making it through the semester and still posting. Yay for college, right?

Nouveau départ is French and literally translates to "fresh start". Each year we are given a fresh start; a clean slate of sorts. As the New Year approaches, each and every one of us look back and reflect on the good and bad things that have happened.

what would you do if you weren't afraid?

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

I write the words in sketch my book, making them look pretty. I trace over the letters with a blue sharpie, then color over them with colored pencils. I sit; I stare. What would I do? If there was no fear, if we all just embraced what came our way, if we all just chose joy instead of this bleak life we have before us, what would we do?

What would I do?

"Unless" -- Making a Difference

Do you ever wonder if your words make a difference? Do ever think about if your novels will ever change a life? What about your art? Could your paintings ever change a life?

Art is a very important aspect of life. Everything around us is art. From the coffee you drink, to the canvas painting, to the literature you read in school. It's art. So don't you think that since this world is surrounded by this brilliant thing we call 'art', then it could have a huge impact on people's lives?

God and Art: Are Christians Supposed to Create?

As a christian who greatly appreciates art, I tend to lean more towards the side that Art has a purpose. All art is meant to display a certain amount of feelings/emotions. All art is supposed to depict something; to be symbolic. I greatly enjoy looking at abstract and modern art that has a hidden meaning. I really enjoy trying to figure out what the artist meant when he painted that picture, or wrote that poem. I enjoy trying to find what emotion the writer and dancer and photographer were trying to portray.

But does God like art? Are we supposed to "create"? Are we supposed to "make"?

I recently saw a question asking about whether or not God liked art. There was a statement following the question about the Bible saying that we are not to make any graven images. Was this statement referring to paintings, drawings, sculptures, writings, and photography? Of course, photography wasn't around back in the Bible times, but could it apply now? Was God saying that we aren't supposed to "create"?

The Blur of Life: Growth, Comfort Zones and Goals

Life passes us by in a blur. It's shockingly fast and before we know it, we're grown up, fixing to move out. I'm graduating high school in a week and finalizing college plans. It's all gone by so fast. It's been a great school year, and I've grown and learned so much. My only regret is that I didn't take the time to do more of the things I love, but my focus is on the future, and I'm ready to plunge into it.

5 Reasons Why Social Media is a {G O O D} Thing

I see so many blog posts about breaking away from social media and why social media a bad thing. Often times these blog posts are telling people how lazy they are and why they should go get a life. But I think there is a nice in between. And the irony of the blog posts is that they are considered part of the "social media" now. Especially Tumblr blogs. So when bloggers tell how bad social media is, they are essentially saying bad things about their own work and their blogs. Stop and think for a second about all that.

So what's the in between? What's a good balance and does social media actually have good uses?

I agree that there probably is a lot of social media stuff going around and that it can be consuming. But it gets a little tiring when people that actually use a lot of social media write posts and tell others about how bad it is. There are a bunch of good and positive uses for your social media sites. Not everyone that uses social media doesn't have a life or is antisocial. And not everyone that uses social media is consumed by it and makes it their life. There is a healthy balance.

Stumble. Fall. Break. Heal.

I had a post on social media planned for today (why it's good. Glares to all you people that think it's bad.) But then I couldn't find a picture I liked for it, so I'm waiting on that. Maybe Monday. Today I decided to give you another one of those attempted encouragement posts.

18 Things My Mom Has Taught Me in 18 Years

Moms. They're so wonderful aren't they? I love my mom so much, and since Mother's Day is in a couple days, I thought I would do a post on Moms. Well, my mom. Because she's the best.

So I'm not eighteen for several more months, but I thought it was close enough. My mom has taught me more than just eighteen things, but my post would be too long to name all of it.

April Reflections: Good Vibes, Frozen Sunsets and Chaotic Ramblings

Different kind of post. Instead of me telling you about something that is both boring and probably irrelevant to your life, I'm going to tell you something even more boring and completely irrelevant to your life, okay?

April reflections. I like reflecting on things. Like meditation, but... not. Because mediation is kind of weird and I have a short attention span. Mediation seems to take a lot of time. So therefore, reflections.

Let's start with some pictures shall we? I saw a beautiful sunset and really wanted pictures of it. My sister decided I was going to be a model. That's okay, though, because cool pictures:
My fedora, though. <3

It's okay to be afraid. (Use the fear of being creative to your advantage.)

As I wrote my novel, coming close to the ending, I started to freeze. My fingers stopped typing the words out, an almost sick feeling coming into the pit of my stomach and I didn't want to finish. I didn't want to end the novel. Not because I don't like endings (well, I don't), not because I didn't know what to write (because I did -- all those lovely outlines we do, right?), but because I feared the ending would suck. I was afraid that it wouldn't be good enough or measure up to published authors endings. I didn't want to fail. I didn't want to make it tens of thousands of words in and mess up the lat five thousand words.

Failure. It's like every person's worst fear. We fear failing those we love, those we respect. We fear losing our inspiration and desire. We also fear being creative.

Well that seems odd, doesn't it?