The 'Firsts' and 'Lasts' in Life

It's been over a month.
Sorry.
I would blame it on busyness, but it's mostly just me being lazy.
In my defense...
well, I don't actually have a defense.
I'm here now, though. To tell you about life. Because it isn't as if you're living through it right now, is it?

There's this middle ground that we all go through in life. It's in between the ending and the starting of new things. In between first and last in life. It's the phase that people go through periodically and no one is too young or grows too old to have 'firsts' and 'lasts'.




When you're a child, you have lots and lots of 'firsts'. You try your first fruit, and first vegetable. You draw with chalk for the first time, and you learn to write. As a child, the world around you is full of beginnings and everything is new. But then as you get older, you realize that there are also 'lasts'. Last goodbyes. Last day of high school. Last day of work. Last time every tasting a vegetable again...

Not always are things so drastic, but there is always a beginning and always, always an ending. The hardest part is not being afraid as you go through firsts and lasts. The hard part is being able to embrace everything that comes your way.

Everything new seems so scary. The first day of high school is scary and surreal, and the last day of high school is the exact same way. The first day of college is just the same, and the last will be too.

You can't walk around in fear, never trying anything new because it seems scary. Sometimes, I don't try new things because I'm afraid of how they might end. It isn't about how it will start or how it will end, it's about all the memories that are created in between.

I can relate this art. (Because why not?)
Books have beginnings and they have endings.
Paintings and drawings have beginnings and endings.
Plays have beginnings and endings.
The first and the last is related to everything we do in life.

Right before I start a book, I usually have to talk myself into it. I spend hours character developing and plotting, and sometimes it's hard to write the first chapter. I don't want to fail. I don't want to start the piece of work and have it cave through in the middle. Sometimes I have to talk myself into finishing it. Then when I get to the end, I don't want to write it.

We live in the constant "What if it doesn't work out?" mind set.

You won't know until you start.
You don't know how that drawing will turn out unless you start.
You don't know how that novel will turn out unless you start.
You don't know if you'll be any good at acting unless you have a 'first'.


And then embrace yourself for the 'last'. Because all good things come to an end, but that only means you get to start new things.

And all the memories, the best parts and all the action comes through in the middle. There are parts that you will want to give up on. There will be parts where you feel like it isn't worth it any more. Maybe there are a lot of lines to memorize in the middle section of the play and it looks too hard right now. Maybe the plot twists are hard to write in the middle of the book. Maybe life seems hopeless in the middle of starting something new, but you haven't quite reached the ending yet.

Whatever the case, there will always be the first time, and there will always be the last time. But don't ever be afraid of it, and learn to enjoy the 'middle'; the in between.